The DMV


.. The time had come for Puck and I to visit the DMV and get our California licenses. We had heard different stories, received various pieces of information .. and so decided going together made the most sense. Being that we don’t know a single person here, that meant the boys were also coming to the DMV. Which those of you who know the boys well can imagine was met with .. well something a little less then enthusiasm. I will openly admit to promising Ice Cream after the visit. I am sure in hindsight, Mitchel and KJ would have demanded something a little more then ice cream for enduring the 2.5 hour DMV ordeal.

I was prepared with a full back pack. One DVD player, one DS1, on PSP, stack of movies, three or four snack option, head phones and all required chargers. And admittedly a smug look on my face, figuring I could handle near anything with the arsenal I had armed myself with. This was quickly replaced with a look of panic when I realized there was not one single power outlet insight and both gaming systems had flashing low battery lights.

The first step, was to wait, then get an application form fill it out, wait again to be rewarded with a number and then we got to wait. This third wait was the kicker, well over an hour, as we waited for our number to be called. I calmly explained to the boys, “this is it boys, the last piece of our transition in to California.” Only to have Puck respond with, “no its not we still have to do the road test.”

So it turns out I would be the first to have a melt down in the DMV office. It sounded something like, “fine, you can drive the whole time we are here, I am not doing this!”

The boys maintained their cool for the better part of the hour that we were sitting simply waiting for our number to be called. One mother did move her child away from us, I can only imagine it was because every time I dolled out a food offering her child asked, “mom can I have a snack?” I did try in vane to make eye contact and offer to share .. I am guessing moving away from temptation was more her style.

Part way through the wait, I looked at Puck and said, “what’s are plan for when our numbers get called?” He was G 127 and I was G128 (not smart planning), he said, “we don’t have a plan.”

And then for whatever reason the G numbers started being called a much accelerated rate! Divide and conquer I said, you take one child I will take the other. Sounded reasonable enough ….

So KJ and I get called up and trot on over to our window. The guy on the other side seems friendly enough, “how are you doing today?” I say, “Good thanks.” The man is sitting in a chair and so can just barely see the top of KJ’s head. I see him glance that way and say, “My friend is well also.”

To which KJ responds, “I am your son. If I was your friend why the heck would I be here with you.”

The man was instantly amused and told me what an intelligent child I had.

The process, goes slow but without incident.

And now I am getting my picture taken and then completing my written exam. There is Puck moments ahead of me, head down writing his test while Mitchel sits in a chair near by. KJ joins MItch and I assume the head down concentration position .. until I hear a voice say loudly, “Who’s children are these.”

My head snaps quickly around, to find my boys sitting in a chair together. Hmm, what’s the big deal? I announce, “they are our children and we are both writing this exam.”

The DMV employ apologizes and I am permitted to return to my head down concentration. Now all of you mothers out there are sure to know how well I could concentrate, knowing my boys were right behind me, at the end of their rope and likely to be preyed upon again by a “well meaning” DMV employ.

Again, I hear, “who’s children are these?” I am shaping up to look like an outstanding parent now.

My head snaps around again, this time I see my boys standing, big eyes and terrified beside a DMV employ who I know in hind sight had told them to move. I again explain, that their parents are both trying to write the ding dang test. She however insists that they must move, but softens her demeanor a bit by offering crayons and paper. KJ chooses to instead cling to my left hand, while I rush to the end of the test.

My intention now to get the heck out of there, passing no longer a necessity.

I finish and return to another line, I am front of this one, however, there is no one manning the window I am at line in. The boys excitement is rising as they see the light at the end of the tunnel. 15 minutes and finally we are invited to the counter, this time it is the first lady who had searched for the parents of “these children” and so she invites Puck and I both to the counter. Marks our tests and we both pass .. me by the skin of my teeth him with a little more room to breath.

We exit hastily to find those ice cream treats I had promised.

Relieved from the ordeal, we find a Dairy Queen, and I promptly order “1 small smartie blizzard and one small oreo blizzard.” The woman repeats “an oreo blizzard and a (insert questioning pause)… I repeat my order, she repeats her questioning. I am wondering what part do you want me to say again … the blizzard .. the small .. the smartie… Finally, as she begins to ask “what is a smartie.” Puck starts to laugh, loudly and reminds we “We aren’t in Canada any more, there are no Smarties !!”

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4 Responses to The DMV

  1. mesmith says:

    Ha ha ha ha ha…. YES! I expect these types of reviews on a daily basis!

    By the way, that's quite the suntan you've gotten.

  2. MMmommy says:

    I can always count on you to write something that makes whatever liquid I am drinking end up on my computer screen

  3. Melissa Mead says:

    Well – on the positive side you are now learning American English verses proper English AND you know that no matter how hectic the boys and the traffic are…you will still get by -by the skin of your teeth!

  4. Rebecca says:

    Ha! Smarties!

    The fastest test to find out if there are any Canadians in the room is to say, "When you eat your smarties…" and see if anyone finishes the sentence.

    BTW, I'm so glad you all survived. Sounds horrific.

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